Day number 3 on ABC

I have tried so hard at this diet a few times, well I am back on it and actually going strong! I have not given into the cravings and eat way to much. I know only day 3 but hey that's a big step for me. I have been working out also! I started on this diet at 140lbs now down to 137.5lbs, I think some of it had to do with water and then my period started so of course I was a little bloated.

I finished up both 500 day with less then 500 and burning more then 300 through workouts, today is a 300 day and only had 180 calories so far. I am doing Zumba again tonight to burn about 300 calories and plan on hitting the elpitical or treadmill for 30 mins after class. Just to get a little extra cardio in then some weights. I do not plan on doing the fasting days because I need to eat, I may fast during the day and eat a very low calorie dinner so nobody asks.

Diet Roller Coaster

Go figure everytime I try and stick with a diet I always go off the deep end. We went to a birthday party this weekend ate there went out to dinner and ate there. Then had a few drinks those days to, got a tattoo done on Sunday and needed to eat a big meal so I could make it through. Of course it was never healthy at all.

Then on Monday I figured I would try a diet once again, I had tried the ABC and then the SGD. Both work if you have control and I do not. I decided to take bits of both of these diets and work it for myself. I am doing good with 3 days in and eat no more then 600 calories a day. I have been eating more healthy and working out everyday.

I haven't weighed my self today but will tomorrow and see how much progress if any that I have made.

UGH....

I have done so bad over the last few days, I can not for the life of me keep myself in control. I only want control and I cant seem to do that. So for the past few hours I have been thinking and looking at pictures of others out there who are thin. Just like I want to be, I figured I can do it. I know I can do it if they could do it then so can I!

I am going to re-start my diet for the last time Monday! No matter what I am going to stick with it and loose this extra weight I need to get rid of. I will finally be happy with myself after that, I will finally be able to stand the look of myself.

I also decided to write down every single part of my body I HATE!! The ones I need to change, what I like about the thin body.

HATE:
-My thighs
-My butt
-My arms
-My ankles

THIN BODY LIKES:
-Rib Bones
-Collar Bones
-Thin Stomach
-Thin legs/arms

I want to lay down in bed and see my ribs, I wan to lay on my side and see my hip bones. I want to feel the bones and see them under my skin.

New week and new diet!

I have tried so many times to stick with the ABC diet and I just can't control my cravings and end up eating way more then I should. This weekend was a bust didn't work out for 3 days and ate way to much. I did loose a lb though during this so I guess that's good.

So today I started the Skinny Girl Diet pretty much the same concept of the ABC by changing your calorie intake everyday. The only good thing is I noticed they usually don't go below 300 calories and I can go as high as 750 calories on some days. Then only one day of fasting much easier for me and then nobody should wonder why I am not eating or eating much.

My stats as of today 5.9.11
Current Weight: 137lbs
1st Goal Weight: 132lbs
2nd Goal Weight: 126lbs
3rd Goal Weight: 120lbs
Ultimate Goal Weight: 110lbs (by July 1st)

I also plan on working out 5 days a week, 2 days during Zumba and weights, 1 day doing a Step Class and weights. Then the other 2 days would be regular old workout 45 mins on the treadmill and light weights. I will keep a strict journal of everything I eat/drink and my workout times and calories burned.

I figured that a way to keep me on track and reward myself is finally finish my arm tattoo. I started the outline months ago. This should be a good way for me to keep on track and loose the weight!

Last few Days

Go figure I have no control whatsoever and totally caved on my diet. I can't believe after 3 days of hard work I caved and had pizza the night before, went out to lunch and dinner last night. Ate way to many calories and totally ruined what I had worked on so far. Even though I had only lost 2lbs in 2 days still thats a big big difference for me.

So today just means I have to crack back down, and try my hardest to make sure I can stick with it and actually loose these last 25lbs. I can't wait to be skinny again and maybe happy with myself. "Maybe"

3rd day on ABC

Well I started off thinking how in the world am I going to survive on only 300 calories today. I usually do 300 per meal and 3 meals a day. Well I made it and did go over about 60 some odd calories. Not a big deal really since I have yet to go to Zumba. So I figured with Zumba I can burn about 300 calories and if I still don't feel like I did that good I will hit the treadmill till my husband wants to go home.

I did notice today that my pants are starting to fit a little looser, not a huge difference but at least a start. Since being on this diet I have lost 1.5lbs. Better then any other diet I have tried. Now I got to figure out great healthy very low calorie snacks/meals for the rest of the 60 days. I am so getting sick up salad but at least I have have a huge amount with no high high calorie intake.

Day #3 300 Calories
Breakfast:
-1.5 cups coffee 4 cals
-4 tbsp creamer 80 cals
TOTAL: 84 calories

Lunch/Dinner:
-Lettuce 9 cals
-Radish 6 cals
-1.5 servings Bacon bits 45 cals
-Low fat Ranch 40 cals
-Butter 60 cals
-2 slices wheat bread 90 cals
TOTAL: 250 calories

GRAND TOTAL:  334 calories

Day #2 ABC Diet - 500 Calories

Here we are at day number 2, so far so good. I am actually not very hungry which is so not like me! I love to eat and of course there comes the bad stuff that I shouldn't eat.

Today I am 139lbs (1 pound down from yesterday)

I had this for breakfast:
-1 slice bread 45 cals
-1.5 cups coffee 4 cals
-.5 butter 30 cals
-4 Tbsp creamer 80 cals
TOTAL: 159 calories

Lunch:
-3 sliced black forest ham 35 cals
-Bacon bits 30 cals
-Radishes 9 cals
-Mushrooms 5 cals
-Lettuce 8 cals
-Low fat ranch 40 cals
TOTAL: 127 calories

Welcome!!

So after much thinking I figured this might be the best thing for myself. I have issues and always could use a place to actually sit down and talk about them, let the anger and frustration out. So this is my first post and a good welcome post to those who are reading about my life and issues!
Trust me this wont be a wishy-washy journal, I have real life issues and problems. Let me start by saying I have been a self-harmer since I was about 16. Nothing drastic at that point just hitting, scratching ect. Over the past few years it went from nothing to mind blowing, I have seen a shrink of course that didn't help. I just wanted my friends and family to be happy. I don't want to stop so I think trying to get help doesn't help when you don't want it!
The SI (as I will call it) really isn't bad at the moment, I haven't had a huge attack in a few months. Now it comes to the point that when I want to I have to stop after just 1 mark or have to figure out how to explain myself. I have even tried to think of new places, ones I can hide that will let me release. I also believe I have a ED disorder, okay nothing huge cause I still eat but I do limit myself. I count every single calorie that goes into my body. Keep very updated records of weight, food intake, liquid intake and exercise intake. I am always weighing myself, looking at my body thinking why do I look like this why. I hate the mirror, hate looking at myself naked, hate my husband to see me. Everybody says I look great and they would kill for what I look like, and I wonder why I am still so fat.
So there is a little about me, now most of my posting will be how I feel this day or the next I wont post all the time cause truthfully I will forget! I am now starting a new diet called ABC, so far so good! Yesterday was my first day and I went over by 69 calories. Today is day number 2 and doing even better. Check out my next post for the info!